I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.
— Dawna Markova
Yesterday I reached out to those I love, not because they needed my help but because they needed reminding of the words that are already inside of them. Yesterday they asked me to remind them of the truths in their world: that they are beautiful, strong, capable, worth it all and already making steps out of the mire.
Yesterday I succumbed to my ego and looked for something more lasting to send to them as they slept so that, when they woke, they would know that I was still thinking of them. Yes, even after the post I wrote about letting go of the reins, I still succumbed (I am still learning after all). This is what I found:
There is an overwhelming definition of our society where motivation is a battle. There are cries for ‘fight’ and ‘war’ and ‘enemy’ abound. Motivation means pushing hard against something, application of tension and incredible force. Suddenly, it all felt wrong, as though I was going to be sending messages that life is insufficient and my friends were going to have to reject today to get to tomorrow. It would tell them to push against their world to stay on it. Is that really what we mean? Is that really the only way to get through? I could barely bring myself to send anything to any of them.
What I was searching for – and now almost feel like making – was a video that said ‘welcome to a beautiful day. It’s a day you may feel is against you, but it’s already taking you one step closer to where you want to be. Let the expanse of sky remind you of how possible anything is, and let each stranger you walk past remind you of how quickly you can change your story. Kiss the rain, bask in the sun – we need them both. Let the annoying person who makes you snap, make you smile for now you know you still care about your day to day life. Let the frustrating wait for a better day remind you that that means you still believe that there is a better day. If you spend today worrying always about tomorrow, then today hasn’t served you and you haven’t served yourself. If only for one solitary minute of the day, find a smile. Because that smile is why you care so much in the first place.’
I appreciate that it’s too passive for some people and too simplistic for others but I think it’s the only way I know how to get to the other side of fear.