I shall call yesterday my ‘bliss day’. I don’t usually use that word as it seems to evoke a stereotype of a slightly flighty and spacey hippy-chick to the un-ititiated. Nevertheless, it is still the most apt way of putting it.
A coastal bus journey was sunlight-bathed as I made my way to see a new coach. It was one of those sessions where what was said was just as important as what was not said. Some wrongs were righted and some paths ironed out. I left floaty, but not flighty, very grounded in fact. I sat by the ocean as I thought about everything that was important to me. I tended to my ego by going to the hairdresser and I met one of my ‘sisters’ for a lazy afternoon coffee. Dinner was with friends and one of my photos was morphed into a CD cover for one of the most lovely albums I’ve heard in a long time.
It was a day for soul food and for re-evaluation; for time to stand still and the horizons to draw a little closer to grasp. I didn’t feel guilty about it, but elated.
…and yet, by bedtime, crept in the modern world. The thoughts of those still climbing mountains to prove themselves, the logistics (I HATE that word) of how to get things moving in the right direction… My energy dropped and I hit a point of limbo. Not a bad mood, not a sad mood, not a great one either. And I had to remind myself:
We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.
This morning, I could have told myself that the world was unchanged and that yesterday counted for little.
…and yet, even though I heard pain in friends’ voices and silence, I understand better that they are still on their way to their own happiness. Even as I walked to work, I know better where things go from here and I have put the first steps in play. Even though I feel tired, I can feel a new fire starting inside.
So no, it’s not the clearest blog I’ve written and no, I don’t know all the answers, but I shall be patient. Because it’s always worth it.