I am not the solution. I need to remind myself of that. I am my solution but I am not the solution to anything anyone else is asking.
When I was a teacher, I understood that I was only to show the way. I understood that forcing someone down the path may mean that we all appeared together, but was no guarantee of shared experience, vision or knowledge. I understood that I opened doors and people chose to go through or not. And that that was a personal decision for them and not a reflection of their opinion or perception of me.
I am not a fixer, a solver nor a workhorse for anyone other than me. I do not actually want to tell people what to do. I offer alternative viewpoints to friends in ruts to try to open doors. But when they slam them back shut, I read that as a dismissal of my help. Which it isn’t. It’s just a reflection of where they are as they perceive their path to be. My insistence that a particular path shall do them good comes partly from wanting to validate my own opinions, not because I know I can create instantaneous help. They have to walk their own path. And as a friend, I have to let them and not let them do it alone.
I understood all this as a teacher and yet, in life today, I proffer solutions and am confused why they are not welcomed with open hearts, parity of thought and mutual appreciation. I am catching myself wading into people’s reality and then feeling confused when not all my words are heard. And I smile that what my ego understood at work, it’s finding harder to assimilate at leisure.
This is my gentle reminder to myself that this is nothing but a little problem to me, for which I am also the solution.