It’s amazingly simple. I am not what I feel. What I feel reflects where I am, inbetween what is happening and who I am, but they do not define or epitomise me. They are just a part of the tapestry, a fabric with which we weave our day-to-day experience. We understand they are necessarily transitory and therefore we can intelligently choose if they are worthy of expression or not. We understand that they are the sum of a huge number of variables that will not necessarily be met with connection at any given point.
It’s deceptively simple. For feelings can carry us up into the clouds and through the pit of the magma core. And what we read issuing forth from people can seemingly wound or buoy us up for the day, week or year. And yet, even with those being truths, they are still not us, they are of us and others, but they do not define us.
How am I sure? Because they can be swung round by active choice. We can each choose to wall up or lift out, fly higher or anchor against. And if we can choose how much of us to invest in any emotional wave, then they are not who we are. They reflect our values and priorities, our heart’s affiliations and our brain’s preferences but the core of us is much greater than.
It’s not to discount emotions. Emotions are an important barometer, but of more than just what signals are reaching your reptilian brain at that moment. It is important to acknowledge them but always with perspective wherever possible. We speak of listening to our gut instinct, our heart’s truths and our sense of logic. But so rarely do we speak of integrating those messages. We talk of one voice of the three guiding us depending on the context. But why aren’t we attuned to listen to the chorus? Surely the chorus is our balance, our sense, our unique take on the world and what we project into it.
My emotions and I are forging a new relationship. I no longer fear ‘taking the lid’ off brain boxes in which are sequestered all sorts of mundanities and traumas. In fact, I am now actively ripping them off. Because there is a freedom in not being defined by my emotional reaction to things. My emotions simply help guide me on my way in conjunction with my gut and my head. It’s a new language and, therefore, logically a new world view. It’s expansive and it’s open. It’s harder to see things as frustrating or limiting, bad or wrong from here, and it’s easier to be joyful because of that.
My emotions and I are re-calibrating. It’s a new friendship but I have a good feeling about it, says the chorus.