We are wired to move, for sure. We are not alive unless blood courses through our veins and our ribs lift and let go to the inhaling in and exhaling of air from our lungs. We seek and applaud development and evolution. But we were never designed to simply ‘Go go go‘ as we do in our modern urban living. We all know what we are doing is wrong and yet we follow along with the new status quo. We race and barge our way through each day. Sitting at desks, our minds race instead, all over the place and through every emotion possible. We do, but we forget to be. We go go go to the point that some of us can’t even sleep properly any more. It has got to the point that the person who we encounter within ourselves on the eighth day of a holiday is a stranger to us rather than our touchpoint from day to day. The relaxed, quiet us are tourists in our own worlds.
I grew up with anger as a demon because, in our adrenal-based society, anger is becoming interchangeable with stress and stress is prevalent. Like stress, we think anger is natural, or at least inevitable. But in this frame of space and time, both anger and stress is sending us in circles. Our collisions don’t get us anywhere. Confrontations don’t create progress, they complete the cycle of fear. And so it wraps tighter. The more we accept it, the more it binds us. We tell each other that daily dissension is a healthy airing of grievances and that it’s evidence of strong connection. We feel we have a right to spread judgements online and spark controversy, without motivation nor investment, and it is considered participation. That kind of anger comes from frustration and suppression. There is nothing beautiful nor creative nor authentic about it.
We have somehow adjusted to a new sense of balance where emotions dictate who we are. Not our principles or life choices, our paths nor our connections, just our transitory reactions to each day. As we let ourselves be pushed around by daily duties, more and more of us ride every single wave of emotion that comes to meet our shore. Somehow, surfing every wave has become a right of self expression and a path to authenticity. And I get it. If we never stop to find peace or space for ourselves, I get that our emotions would appear to characterise us. But it can’t truly be the gross sum of all our complex characteristics.
Look into cars during a work commute. See faces screwed up and gesticulating arms that issue forth waves of negativity. That form of anger is not normal. It’s commonplace but not normal. Pouring venom and violence into words over minor inconveniences or fleeting perceptions is commonplace, but it’s not normal. We will go through every single day seeing at least one person at the end of their tether and no longer think anything of it. It’s not a vision of progress but of futility.
I grew up with anger as a demon, and I have to change that perception. It is a necessary part of the spectrum of emotion as you progress through life, it helps you make progress on your growth and girds the will to thrive. If it must rise, then genuine Anger is a force for change, a propulsion or a redirect. It is a catalyst and correction of course. It is a return to values and self truths, a reminder of priorities and agreed principles. It shows you pushing boundaries and stretching visions and beliefs. It is a bouncing off something so far removed from your life understanding that it helps to recalibrate you to your truth.
It’s not that I don’t care when people are angry. It’s not that I don’t get angry too. It’s just that I don’t want to join the day to day dance of venting frustrations, fear or fickleness any more. It’s not merry, it’s not pretty and it’s not my truth nor spirit. In truth, we know most of us most of the time little to be frivolously angry about. We all have a right to anger, but not when it makes us a spinning top, not when it stops us getting ahead to the calm and happy bits in life and not when it becomes an integral part of our petrol. It is not the sullied version that runs off our daily fears unchecked. It’s about understanding that anger, when from a place of strength and love not insecurity and fear, has a fierce beauty to it. It will blaze brightly then leave us as fast as it rose.