Around three years ago, I was chatting. I was chatting and I wandered over to the sofa. I sat myself down and as I sat, I uttered a phrase. And the phrase was this: ‘I may seem happy, but deep down, fundamentally, I’m not. I haven’t been for a very long time.’
Around three years ago, in the middle of what I thought of as a time full of happiness, I spoke a truth of a lifetime, or so it seemed. And something inside me broke. And from then on, I’ve never looked back.
Today, I am reminded that no-one will ever find happiness. So many of us look around us for our happiness: signs of success, signs of love, signs of appreciation, signs of progress. All these signs mean that we are looking for happiness signposts: ‘if I take this road, this is where my happiness lies’ or the reverse.
Today I am reminded that there is no happy path or unhappy path. Whichever way we turn, there will be happiness and sadness, there will be challenges and smooth sailing. If you live it right, that is. Because if you truly live, you will always be pushing boundaries and that means shifting outside of and growing out to new comfort zones. So there is no way to find happiness or to follow the ‘right’ signs to take you there.
Happiness is an inside job. Happiness is the attitude to you bring to everything, even the ‘bad’ moments. Happiness is choosing to find the learnings and the opportunities in the challenges. Happiness is celebrating the great moments in their fullest (yup, that’s the one I’m finding challenging!). Happiness is looking for the little blessings in the everyday and the gifts in those synchronised moments of bliss. You will never find happiness because it’s up to you to bring it to whatever you are observing, doing, loving, hating and everything else inbetween.
Today I am reminded how far I have come. And this post isn’t to gloat. This post is to remind you how worth it it all really is.
the bamboo principle 
I get you my beautiful friend , from the beginning to the end of this post and every word read between the lines…i have also been in tat place of complete acceptance of the truth and as I have travelled from that starting point, I have found that happiness does not look or feel like people think, it is not laughter nor the permanent smile it is, at least for me, a state of inner calm, a peace NO ONE can disturb or alter…and living it once does not mean you’ve found it for life, it is a daily goal and it is under constant siege but we must defend it as we’d defend the most vulnerable of things…I hope , with time and practice is become so firmly rooted in me that th vulnerability will disappear.:.xo my dearest friend, Alexandra
it certainly looks like inner calm to me too, not so that I don’t care and can’t connect with anyone, but so that I know I am connecting over the actual situation and no subtext/ triggers/ baggage… much love and hope all is well xx
thanks my dear friend, xx back to you