The silent power of thought influences people even at a distance, because mind is one as well as many. The universe is a cobweb; minds are spiders.”
I understand why it took so long to get on this path of mine. It carries a beautiful weight of responsibility with it and I was not ready for it until now.
For a long time, it was too intimidating to assimilate that the drama that was happening in my life was me. There is always chaos, sure, but it doesn’t have to be drama. But I was good at drama. It made me feel alive at the same time of depleting any sense of identity and true strength that I had. I wish I could tell you when the shift happened, but I don’t really know. But I know when I realised that the drama queen was losing her grip and a new era was imminent.
The best lesson I had was when the company I worked for ‘went under’. I remember coming back from holidays, sitting at my desk, and hearing loss after loss of product from our business. And I remember being perched on the edge of a friend’s table discussing what it meant for all of us. In that conversation, my life turned a 180. I decided to embrace the oncoming change/ shift/ chaos instead of wallowing in it. I decided to ride the momentum into unknown territory by doing unfamiliar things to see where it may land me. Five years on, it has landed me into a world where I know my passion and direction and has delivered a fire back in my belly that I have been missing for over 15 years.
It’s amazing what a mind shift can do for you, when you take control of that wickedly wily brain of yours and rewire it in a more constructive way. It’s amazing what breaking a few habits can do, and what it can launch you into. That conversation sitting on the edge of that desk saw me take a leap of faith, both figuratively and physically, throwing myself to the other side of the world with no real support network into which I could land. I decided that I could reconstruct myself in the Southern hemisphere of the world, slowly eliminating those walls that held me back and embracing all that allowed me to grow. Little did I know how deep some sabotage programs ran, and how entrenched some beliefs were. But across the oceans were sent love and support, faith that I could achieve something big, and faith is one of the greatest facilitators of them all.
And as I take more and more responsibility for who I am and the thoughts that I allow to reside in my brain and bio-chemical make-up on any given day, the more I can’t help but see the ripple effects around me. How people ebb and flow in response to where I am and what I choose to represent, my journey and my milestones so far. And suddenly, as much as I am taking responsibility for my own world, I see how my world interweaves with others at my edge. For we weave our reality, in truth, not only for us but for all those we love. We weave joy, success, health and progress into our lives, not only to improve our own, but to allow those who send us love to do so more freely. We love love most when it comes to us without duty or sympathy, care or consideration, but when it washes towards us in unconstrained abundance because people know it will be received, acknowledged and cherished. And the best world is the world where positivity is reciprocated thought for thought, mindfulness for mindfulness, spirit for spirit and love for love.
Today I am aware of more responsibility in my life than ever before, and for once it’s not a weight. It’s an understanding that I am one, but I am one of many, one of innumerable thoughts that pull us together into a sense of humanity at large. I don’t feel like it will bring my world crashing down around my shoulders, forcing me down, crushing me slowly. My sense of responsibility has become part of the thread of my path, part of my navigation system to keep me true. It pushes me to spin right, to spin happy, to each day strive to weave a little magic somewhere to contribute to a most beautiful network of thoughts that extends way beyond my comprehension. Sometimes I have to head back and tend to a frayed edge or a ragged thread but that is life. And life doesn’t dictate what I can weave and create, what I weave and create can help frame life in a more beautiful way than I ever previously imagined.