So here it is, a year into The Bamboo Principle and time to take stock for a lot has happened, shifted, grown and fallen away over the last twelve months.

I guess most importantly of all, I am becoming my best friend. It’s not to say that I don’t have or need friends in my life (in fact I appreciate the special people in my universe all the more) but I have realised that my backbone, my strength, my health, my happiness, my love is not something that should be franchised out around the world and into others’ hands. That core has to be a core in me for it to bend and flex, embrace and grow, welcome and alienate the right things at the right time for me to dream bigger and live brighter and laugh heartier. I can’t do those things critiquing my body, questioning the inner voice or flowing with other people’s perceptions and I can’t do that deferring any level of responsibility to anyone else. I am unique and therefore no one else, no matter how well they may know me, can accurately pick my path better than myself.

By learning to accept myself, I am starting to see that I no longer need anyone. That is not to say that I want to live without connection, because connection is a vital part of our human existence. Connection is the thing that brings us challenge and synergy, collaboration and creativity and allows me to thrive. But without needing someone, I can choose who I offer energy to, who I can withhold energy from, and where I can flow to at any given time. It means that when I love, it’s a more true love; when I support it’s a more honest support and when I speak, it’s a stronger truth. I love people and I love the beautiful soul connections that continue to nurture me in an epic grid that flows around the globe, but I understand that the ebb and flow of those connections do not determine my sense of self in the way they used to. I understand that connecting with people beyond the realm of duty, habit or legacy makes my life richer, brighter and lighter.

By learning to tune in better, by embracing a life that allows me to do that more clearly, I know have a path to walk. How do I know it’s the right path? Because there is not a part of me that questions it and it’s a path of service. I am heading back to a life of contribution and offering. It is a path I can talk about despite seeing complete lack of comprehension in someone else’s eyes without second guessing what I am saying. Do I know that I will be good at it? No idea! But I do know that I will give it the best shot that I have, and that it motivates me on my journey every day. I know that it is teaching me to let go of outcome and just love heading in a direction with a sense of flow. I have been beyond blown away by the number of people who have already offered me support to get there in a more streamlined way. And I am beyond blown away at how I am happily investing in it every day of my year so far.

As my path has laid itself in front of me, image by image, sense by sense, course by course, I have been allowed a chance to gain better perspective. I see battles and cycles all around me, some worthy and constructive and some not. And I see how embroiled in some of those, on both sides, I have been: in the last year, the last five and over an entire lifetime. I see how I imposed limitations around myself and how I tried to project over my own self-constructed walls and was then puzzled when I don’t make it. There are still some there but now it’s like a computer game level. It’s not about whether or not I will beat them, but just a matter of when. And as they fall, when they fall, the next twelve months will see me journey in ways I can’t yet see, can’t yet feel and can’t yet believe. And for once, that excites me. Whilst a day in the life of me may be tough, I have complete faith that it is all heading for the best. If I mess up, then it’s because I have to learn something better. If I succeed at something, then it’s only to project me to a greater challenge.

And the most beautiful thing of all? I know that this is open to everyone, each and every person who wants to embrace the journey. I have the privilege of knowing some of the most honourable journeymen and women and keeping pace with them on occasion. And for that, I am most grateful of all. May the next twelve months for you light you up and send you forward with a sense of purpose. May it see you land ever on your feet with the lesson in your heart. May you be surrounded by the best souls and the truest of connections to yourself and those who teach you every day of the difference between a path of love and a path of fear. May the realisation that you never get a day back fire you into significant action instead of traumatised stasis.

Thank you for being a part of my learning and my journey, for reading, for commenting and for the amazing friendships that have sprung from here.

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2 thoughts on “time out (#1)

  1. Yaaaaaay!!!! Happy first year anniversary wordpress neighbor I am so happy to have found my way to your blog which has given me the chance to keep you company in your wonderful journey of growth and resiliance… please receive a very loving hug from the other side of the globe, xx, alexandra

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