Forget relationships. It is not a relationship that you seek. -Osho
We say we want a relationship. We say we want the love of our lives. And we never stop to listen to the contradiction. We spend lives believing that we are looking for an outcome, a full stop at the end of a sentence. We’re looking for the search to end. We think we’re looking for the conclusion, the settlement of heart with heart. We’re looking to set emotions in a frame of certainty. But life does not consist of a series of full stops and emotions aren’t things. You and your love cannot hang out on a single point at the end of a process. That point, if living, is dynamic by nature. It’s the ultimate journey, it’s not a destination.
So you are not looking for that which you say you are. It is not something that can be encapsulated or defined by a noun. It is not a something at all. What you seek, what I seek, what we all spend lifetimes looking for is how to relates as best we can. Life will never offer us a solution to fear through stasis. Life can only offer us solutions through dynamism, because energy always moves.
So you are looking for ways, means, people and opportunities to refine the process of relating. You’re looking for people to travel the same ways as you. Each person you encounter is an opportunity for you to hone who you are and who you want to relate to. You are looking at mirrors of facets of humanity and working out what resonates with you. You are looking at how you relate to who you were and who you want to be. Each person carries within them gems of insight, wisdom, disguised as triggers or comfort zones, conflict or companionship to help guide you on your way.
When we seek love, we forget love is not a noun, it’s a verb. It’s an ever-flowing, ever-changing, ever-transient beautiful flow. The ultimate way to relate. An exchanging of energy, constant only in its shifts and sharing. The person who you love is your ultimate mirror, ebbing and flowing through life in the same way, each ripple showing you more of what you seek. But it is not a certainty, a stable state. It is a mutable process. Just as who you see in the mirror changes every day, so too does love and relating. You are not seeking the love of your life, you are seeking someone who nurtures you loving your life as you grow and shift each day.
So forget relationships. They will not give you the sense of certainty you seek. By definition, you are seeking the impossible. Seek only to relate better, brighter, more honestly, more freely. Seek answers from those around and a love that will give you support as you grow and unfurl. Seek to understand yourself better to understand the dynamics you create as you relate. Seek to relate as best you can and somewhere along the line, not only may you learn to love but you may also learn to love yourself as you are, were and ever shall be.