It’s already there. It’s not that you absorb it or learn it, it’s lying there waiting for you to notice. A pet who you wanted but don’t quite know what to do with, it waits. It waits, yearning for nurture and attention, a little light, a little energy to help it to start to come out of itself, out of you, to shine forth in response.
It’s already there. In quiet moments, you may have heard it whisper to you, asking to be fed and noticed. It’s the little jolt in you when you rediscover a passion or it’s the sense of steel when you butt up against something that doesn’t sit right with you. It’s there in the hesitations before you answer and in the silent tear that sometimes creeps down your cheek. It’s in the imaginary conversations you have that make you grin mysteriously as you wander down a street.
It’s already there and in its quietude, you could be mistaken and assume that it’s unimportant or even missing. But I assure you, it’s there always, its volume no indication of its verve, power or potential.
You see, you’re already complete. You weren’t born incomplete. As you were born with a heart that knew how to beat and lungs that knew how to breathe, you were born with passions to drive you forward and skills that make you so beautifully unique. But more often than not, we are raised to focus on what the system needs of us. So we learn to live through our minds, and regard those who live through their heart as eccentric, blessed or even freaks. We learn to rationalise and systemise. We learn to crave linearity and regularity, progression and promotion. And inside, the passions lie waiting. Waiting for the work/life balance to allocate an hour here or there to that spark, as if life only happens in weekly sessions.
Today, I am reminded that too often we wait for a huge wake up call before those passions are allowed to be brought to the fore, before we allow ourselves to become a little maverick in our dealings with what each hour can allow of us.
Most of us got the jigsaw puzzle of ourselves out as a kid. And we were taught to pick the corners and the borders first. Most of us have only got that far and we’ve got bored because we think we know what the picture is. But today and each day, I want to find a random piece or two and muse over where it fits. Maybe I won’t be able to work it out today, but I will be able to appreciate it for what it is and know that it’s critical to the bigger picture. Today and every day, I want to live learning how to see all of me so that I can understand all of what I can bring to those I love. Today and every day I want to make sure that puzzle is as full as it can be before I can lift pieces no longer.